From the moment they leave the womb, men are indoctrinated with ideas about what their gender means. Our culture inculcates masculinity in ways both subtle and overt, through schoolyard taunts and gendered bathrooms, at the gym as in the frat house. While some resolve the conflict by eschewing gender norms altogether, a surprising number embrace the very rubric they fall short of, striving to embody cultural notions of masculinity in the way they speak, act, and dress. This is particularly true when it comes to dating.
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The six men addressing my undergraduate sexuality class have two things in common. First, they all look fabulous: fit, muscular men, with square jaws, short neat hair, and stylish masculine clothes. They look like models from J. Crew or Banana Republic catalogues, which may be one reason why many more female than male students are asking them questions. I see the looks on the women's faces as they listen to the panel, and they convey wistful attraction.